Tsunamis

These are things that you read about and watch in movies only. These are things that are not supposed to happen in real life… no, never to neighbours and friends. So what was all that fuss about?

My cousins were down in Colombo on Saturday. We were planning on a girls night out which was unfortunately ruined by the one who claimed to be tired and sleepy after having missed two night’s sleep in noisy airports. As she was the oldest (mother of three) and the baby sitter - in spite of looking the youngest of us all – we had no choice but to give in. but we promised ourselves a treat the next day.

Well, only the next day wasn’t anything like we expected it to be. Two of the cousins had sprung out of bed early enough to get to Odel on time. About me – I was at home attending to a few neglected chores. My dad said we’ll do a one day’s trip down south. So finally something was coming out of my vacation besides boring shopping, and eating out.

And then the phone rings and I hear the chirpy voices of the folks at home. Only it wasn’t very good news at the other end. The phone line seemed to be busy for what seemed like ages. I was finally able to get my hands on it, to call a friend from school. I was trying to get through to her to get her to join our little trip. She didn’t believe a word of what I had to say. “April’s over” that’s all she said. Angry and unable to justify what I had said (news hadn’t reached the TV as yet) I hung up half hoping that a few sea waves would make it to her place at Wellawaththa. They (the waves) were just a little far away when I was thinking that. When I called again… the phone’s only rang.

At home… the relatives near the wild oceans were moving in and we were making arrangements for lunch and the night’s stay. My dad left to pick them up. He met with an accident was turned back by the heavy traffic, blocking the roads. So my grandma, aunt and kids were somewhere out there finding their way to a safer location. We just had to sit and wait and pray. The scenes were on TV by then and they were traumatizing. They arrived. I was shouting at the top of my voice for people not to panic. We were trying to get through to relatives in Galle. Sometimes the phones rang… Most time there were no connections. My uncle was in Trincomalee, they were rushing back. My mum kept talking about how we were planning on a vacation together and we couldn’t join simply because dada had no leave.

Me - being the one that is crazy about water and the sea – was disappointed by its unruly behaviour. Another “why” that we cannot answer!

Something’s going on inside the earth and people predict this will re-occur. Thousands of children and women didn’t have the strength to survive it. We are now trying to help the ones who were fortunate enough to escape, to get back on their feet while taking precautions. This day we shall remember for a long time.

+ Cross Roads +

Now what?

The biggest thing in my mind these days is getting ahead with my higher education from this point forward. It’s been an year since the degree was over and I’ve been doing nothing but thinking.. “where from here?” I hate it at the cross roads cause decisions and fate don’t go together. Anywayz, plans are needed for one to go on.

Adopted

I generally don’t post what is not original but I read this and cannot stop myself from sharing it…

Once there were two women who never knew each other
One you do not remember the other you call mother
Two different lives shaped to make you one
One became your guiding star. The other became your sun.
The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it.
The first gave you a need for love, the second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name.
One gave you talent, the other gave you aim.
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears.
One sought for you a home that she could not provide, the other prayed for a child and her hope was not denied.
And now you ask me through your tears
The age-old question, unanswered through the years
Heredity or environment. Which are you a product of?
Neither my darling. Neither.
Just two different kinds of love.

Author Unknown

What it means to be adopted

Teacher Debbie Moon’s first graders were discussing a picture of a family. One little boy in the picture had different colour hair from the other family members.

One child suggested that he was adopted, and a little girl named Jocelynn Jay said, “I know all about adoptions because I’m adopted”

“What does it mean to be adopted?” asked another child.

“It means,” said Jocelynn, “that you grew in your mother’s heart instead of her tummy.”

George Dolan

The worst part of this whole messy business is that there being no one to talk to. That is the reason why it is so difficult to come to terms and accept it. When new avenues are found old friends and family are gradually lost. You don’t keep in touch not because you don’t want to but you simply can not find the time to. I’ve been going to bed at 9:00pm these days and I still haven’t stopped the habit of going to bed with a book. The only difference the book happens to be sci-fi or horror at 9:00pm rather than some boring course text at 2:00am. What a change after the degree? It’s unbelievable but the part of there being no one to talk or work with is depressing. When your busy studying or with work you don’t feel it but when your minds empty you really wan go have coffee with an old friend. I miss you!

The End!

As I watch sitting at the doorway of the world
The setting of the sun
Only to wake another land
My cheeks upon my knees
And my head upon my heart

There on the shore
I scrape into my pale hand
The golden brown grains of sand
To which life was blown into
The grains which cloth my spirit and soul
The only matter that will accept my lifeless body

The salt of the sea
The warmth of the soil
The cooling sky
The only comfort

And as I sit here
I cannot help but wonder
How to put an end…
To the tragedy and trauma
Of the truth of this drama

Tomorrow will be another busy day
When I will come home just like everyone else will
Having nothing but four walls that can’t speak
And when night falls to bring the darkness so still…
It all comes back gushing
Burning the soul and melting the heart
All the joy and fun; All the lies and pain
Being cheated and stabbed
And treated like I’m nothing

Reward for the love that I so generously shed
All along it was her and not me
That’s not what really matters
What matters is he never told me
All the time he spoke of the ends of the worlds
And the mysteries of molecules and genes
And he never said a word
And I cared for him too much to see it coming

Crying out to the voices that needed help
Singing to children that needed a friend
Giving to the poor
And smiling for the deaf

And he left
With all the gifts I gave him lying there
on the floor… for days
I wonder how is heart let him hurt mine
How I could not see the falsehood in his eyes
Leaving everything behind, to him I turned
And now he’s gone, no where to be seen
Leaving me with this pain and taking my joy

Promises so pleasing
Gifts worth a fortune
Words of praise
And songs of bliss

In this rotten woeful world,
I am here without having been given a choice

Now I sit helpless with a heart-full of memories
I know there’s nothing left that I could do
To bring him back

I wait for the day that I die
Never wanting to continue this miserable circle of life
He let me down
And he broke his word
But still for some reason I cannot hurt him back
God, take care of him
And I hope he will be happier now, than
When he was with me.

I’m holding my head high and trying to walk again
And as I limp my way back to the old world
Having left with no choice
I turn back once to look at the black sky

And in that darkness, I still see the stars smiling back at me…

Is there any hope left?
In this miserable world…
And in my search of myself
I find, there’s nothing worth crying about
It’s me… and only me
The reason he left!

wasted

I think it is such a waste to have big brains and sit down under them not making a difference to the world. Passive observers are not really smart. They are cowards and not smart enough to raise issues or make a fuss about it. To make things worse they advice other people to follow the sickness. You weird creatures that think that sitting around telling other people what to do better give it a break and practise some of the preaching once in a while.

The Convocation

When I look back and think of those work-filled days and sleepless nights I can’t believe the FYP is actually over. There was a time that I thought I would NEVER be able to finish it. There were times when I just tore away everything in front of me into bits and pieces. There was a time that I even went crazy. Rowing through the tough times, all those little sacrifices on the way, stumbling upon stones. It wasn’t easy. The convocation brought back a lot of things… not just the fun filled days at APIIT but also the times back in school. One can not forget the first few steps that lead us here. The tea parties, the phone calls, the experiments in the lab, the imitating of the teachers, the grounds, the arguments, the cutting classes and hiding… a lot more that I would not even recall if not for my journal. Life can come in many disguises.