There's been many winy roads, tall mountains and deep rivers to cross... It hasn't all been a bed of roses, but looking back, there has certainly been thousand good moments for every single bad moment. When I look forward to the rest of our lives together I cannot help but think... the best is yet to come, in Jannah!
To my darling parents who are celebrating 31 years together.
Like my children always say (and I hope they will feel the same way when they are teenagers) you both are my best friends for ever. Sometimes it is easier to tell newer friends this than it is to your own kith and kin but I love you both sooooo much and miss you every single day! May Allah shower you with his choisest blessings and may we be united soon again Insha Allah
15 years ago, life was simple. America was just another lesson in my geography book. But today America means a lot.
It is here that I became a mother; it is here that I leaned to drive; it is hear that I built a home and family to continue my legacy. (Ok, excuse the over emphasis). These may seem like simple things but to a woman, it is almost everything that she can ask for. Being happy and free.
Even though we probably are living the dream I miss my homeland. Every time I cook I am reminded of the aromas from back home. The craving for some childhood comfort foods that I still miss.... their taste lingers upon my lips. Hot Nescafe at bed time brought my mum so I can stay up and work on my assignments. A dire need to be as efficient as possible. I miss the days that the only thing I had to worry about was exams and turning in projects. Hours in front of the computer with a few minutes of dial up connection. I wish I can substitute the word 'miss' with something stronger. But my limited vocabulary does not allow me to do so. I have spent my life time trying to be a perfectionist.... trying to do everything meticulously but lately I've been learning to relax. To savor and enjoy the moment instead of cramming multiple tasks in the goal of achieving efficiency and effectiveness simultaneously. I'm learning to embrace and love myself. I am also thinking more about death. I guess we all, in our own ways learn to deal with the fact that our grey hairs are increasing, our wrinkles are beginning to form and that our posture is not as upright as it once was. My greatest fear next to death, is old age and loneliness. Who will take care of me? Will I be a botheration?
2013 was a roller coaster ride full of ups and downs. The biggest down for me was losing my mother in law in May because we had planned on visiting her during the summer. I guess we will have to live with that regret. Happy memories include being able to have my children spend some time with their grand parents and all the wonderful achievements I made at the work place. After taking a much need break I returned to work to be welcome to arm loads of hugs and kisses and students cheering at my arrival. I sit quietly and ask myself as I take it all in slowly; what I did I do that make them want me back so much. It is a nice feeling to be missed. I think that teaching is a very special skill and not everyone can do it and even if you can, unless you have a passion and the will power for it, you wont be able to keep going.
Anyway, I am keeping my fingers crossed for 2014. Make the most of life. Live like you'll never die while preparing for the hereafter like I will die today, will be my motto. The children are growing up and asking questions about everything. When the husband and I argue they ask us to say sorry to each other and boy that is sooo hard.
I am proud of how far you have come. Even though the hill was steep and lonely, Stormy and overwhelming, you have been strong and patient. 'Deal with the day' is my motto for life. Every day will be hard and new challenges will come our way. We will fall. We have to stand up against the wind, shovel off the snow and start walking again. Insha Allah I start working again from tomorrow. Officially, it was supposed to be today but I said I cant make it because Haroon is home with a cold and cough. My life here is very challenging as I have to do EVERYTHING on my own without any help. Its hard but its life and life wont make any sense if it was not hard.
Study confidently. By this time, next year you will be a married man Insha Allah and a very kind hearted doctor. My duas are with you always. Do your best and leave the rest in the hands of the Al-mighty. As you take a new step in life you know that your family will always be there for you and that you can turn to us for anything.