That’s how it goes

Sometimes they tell you that the more you deal with your troubles the stronger you get every time you pull through one of them. There are those days that everything at work goes all wrong and you go home thinking it’s finally over and then a whole new set of things start going wrong for you. Things so bad… that make you question the reason for your existence.

And of course there are those other times, where life just seems to be a bed of roses and now tired and weary, I’m longing for some sun and a few more things…

The height of belief

Whatever the problem is, IT has a solution for it!

Slavery to the colonial culture

I have met or seen rather, a very few courageous people who have the nerve to stand up against the rest. In case you’re still thinking what I’m on about it’s once again to the topic of attire. Why shirt? Tie? And belt? Why not our traditional clothes? (not to mention the fact that most people tend to find it unspeakably uncomfortable) Would it mean disrespect to someone if you did wear clothes from a different - am I to say ‘your own’ - culture? What can possibly be so wrong about that?

The Indians on the other hand have my regard. They maintain their traditional costumes at least at special occasions and what’s better is that they are proud of it. Them, living in a foreign land will not necessarily prevent them not dressing up in the clothes which are not worn by the majority.

If only we could stop being so chicken…

How important is outward appearance?

These books that are written with the purpose of motivating another individual by those who consider themselves motivated people never really got around doing any good to me. I can never be motivated by some stupid saying or an article or anything that tries to play with your emotions using the weapon of words. Sometimes these are just about speeding up the growth process.

Coming back to the topic… eh what was it now? Oh outward appearance? Dress? clothes? Attire? Hairstyle? Can we touch on accent? How much does it really contribute to the person you are?

Ok so this is how I see it. If you are leading people at the lower level you need to look pleasant enough to do it. Smartly dressed. Hair neatly combed. Polite. And all that following but see if your leading people who will be convinced more by the person you are than your outward appearance you really don’t have to give a damn about what you look like. First impressions matter and people fight hard to make their first mark but once they get their and prove themselves to the rest, outward appearance really becomes a secondary necessity because people respect you for who you are and not what you wear or look like. So for those freaks who put dress before themselves let me say that you can’t get away just being well dressed and it a takes a lot more to leave your footprints behind.

Case closed!

That’s just the way things are. Accept it or die!

Most people tend to “assume” things because other people don’t open up enough!

Makkah and Madina

Haj is the fifth and most expensive pillar of Islam and therefore is compulsory only for those who can afford it. Umrah on the other hand is Sunnah – meaning not compulsory. I spent one April holiday at Makkah for Umrah. It was a very different and interesting experience. Although we had to keep reminding each other that it was no fun ride but pilgrimage, the whole tour was like refreshing the soul and the mind. And who says that pilgrimage cannot be made fun?

The Ka’bah at Makkah was a lot larger than what I imagined it to be. It took us an average of about 20 minutes to go around it seven times and this depended entirely on the crowd that was there. It was nice to actually see what we were facing when we prayed back at home for decades. I didn’t really like the native people much…. but there, you could find almost all kinds of people – the black, the white and the in between. Some were crippled and some were kings. Never seen a large crowd as that before. There were no differences in the uniform or the performance. It was the same for all. Two pieces of unstitched white fabric for men’s attire and women - covered fully except for face and hands. Children cried while the mothers were in prayer. The trip from Makkah to Madina was long and lovely although most parts of it were dry and covered by camel. Madina was much more beautiful. The weather was cool and almost as peaceful and as calm as the people there – a significant difference from Makkah. Dialog roaming doesn’t work there by the way. The food was great. Mutton was the most common meat. There were plenty of books. You can’t take pictures inside the mosque. (In fact you can’t do that it any mosque). The Zam Zam water was always in plenty. We practically lived on it

Somehow I want to go there again. It’s like I didn’t have enough of it. It wasn’t a very long stay. People always keep recalling their experience there. You probably would never face anything like it anywhere else in the world. Most people, this month, are also flying there for Umrah. Sometimes the total crowd exceeds two million. The little city of Makkah although not as highly developed as the rest of the country, does an excellent job of managing this crowd each year. Hopefully I should be able to see my next visit coming, not very far away, Insha Allah.

Zakat

If you have any savings that have exceeded a year, you have to pay 2.5% of it as Zakat for the poor. There are seven categories of people who are entitled to receive Zakat. Zakat is generally paid during the month of Ramadan because it is said that the reward for good deeds in this month is higher. Zakat is compulsory and is the fourth principle in the religion. It’s a good way of investing in the ‘not so well off’ part of the nation annually. People generally value their gold, land and whatever else they have to set aside a potion for this cause. That’s about it from what I know.

Highlights on Umrah - next time around.

How can one be creative?

Don’t be conventional

There are no assumptions in life

Don’t use past experience or knowledge

Wipe the slate clean

Now think anew

The world would definitely be a better place if...

...there weren’t so many chickens around

Part 2 - Cutlery and culture

This time I was telling them about the importance of punctuality. About how it adds to the person you are just like your attire or communication. I had to tell them something so I told them how people in this part of the world have no respect for the other's time. How they say "I'll be there in 15" but you keep waiting for ages. And somehow I brought in the cutlery and culture issue because I thought it may be good for them to know. When I'm almost done with explaining myself, one student from the back decides to voice out his thoughts - "I don't think we have to practice good time management because it's not our culture"

Watch what you laugh at

At an orientation lecture for the newer batches I was caught in a spontaneous discussion in the use of good language and how rare it is getting. I then see myself getting carried away when the discussion leads to eating with cutlery.

People often tend to look down upon a person who may not be aware of the appropriate usage of cutlery. Is it really something to laugh about? It's a question of culture isn't it? You don't really HAVE to know another culture, do you? You visit a country that has left hand driven vehicles, you simply get yourself trained. You don't have to feel bad about asking someone or telling someone how to use something off a different culture. I'm told (the truth of which I'm not sure) that the fork and spoon evolved as a result of a fast spreading plague in the hands. Myths apart, I feel that there is no need for anyone to be embarrassed about not knowing another culture or even language for that matter. It's perfectly OK not to know and to ask or to find out. If you don't know your chemistry before a chemistry exam you should be shot and laughed at but this? Utterly senseless and worthless piece of fact to make humour of.

Sometimes the best way to deal with people’s reaction is to ignore it

These things drive me crazy

Indians are way ahead. They are leading in most parts of the world – US covered!

Their main mode of study – learn everything and anything by heart. Understanding will come later.

So is intelligence merely good memory?

There are more important thing in life than career and work

I’m trying to figure out what

Youth

What’s the next word that comes to your mind when you hear that word?
Fun?
Yeah youth is all about ‘fun’; or is it?

If you asked the youth of today to define fun, may be they’ll say fun is to wear a ring around the belly button, eyebrow or tongue. They may say fun is to smoke and drink around, playing pool, or cruising around the city in elaborate automobiles, tattoos, money, music, movies or friends to hang out with. They might claim that tinted hair or funky and wacky looking outfits are ‘cool’ or ‘fun’. They might even go to the extent of saying assembling a pc, reading or cyber surfing is also a part of fun.

Whatever they say, youth is not the same for all. Youth has meant different things to different people at different times, societies, cultures and other divisions. If you asked the youth of the 60s and 70s what they thought fun was they’d probably say that bell-bottom trousers, or side-burns, cinemas or even fishing was fun. The youth of most parts of the western half of the world prepare themselves to leave home and live an independent life by the age of 13 or 14 whereas the other - if I am allowed to say ‘better’ half of the world - have mothers standing at the door of the homes if their 20 year old sons were late after an evening out. In the days of the old we have also seen people at the birth of youth preparing themselves for war and greater causes that the youth of today cant even bring close to their dreams. Culture influences youth… no doubt! What else does?

The best part of one's life is youth. Hardly anybody can deny that. It is the time when one is healthy physically, mentally and spiritually. It is the only time when people feel the anxiety of taking the keys into their own hands and cruising around world exploring and discovering themselves and the environment, battling to understand, fountains of conflicting thoughts and ideas, captured by love and torn by disagreement and arguments. It is the only time when you have a lot that you can offer to the world. But really how much can youth offer?

How much of the virtually limitless energy, enthusiasm, bravery and courage is lost in worthless sport, idiotic computer games, challenge-less and other futile and vain time absorbers? How many of the million of sparkling youth sit back and watch and wonder around waiting for the aged or adults to take over. Unconstructive arguments about insignificant issues with parents and elders are the order of the day. It is gradually eating up the youth not allowing them to do as much as their potential permits them to. They are too taken up in the lighter issues of life and their youth is completely wasted and before they even have time to reconsider their doings and habits, youth is already gone - finished - leaving them to face the other responsibilities of life such as providing for the home. The ‘invisible hand’ of Adam smith is left to take over the greater aspects of life and society and no man in his good and conscious mind has contributed any fair share to the world except his mere existence and selfish motives.

Youth have a heavier and more significant role to play today as always. They are able to do a much greater deal than to sulk around over messed up love affairs or get the latest software games installed. The society needs them in much larger ways than they are even aware of. They have to be informed of their role and treated that way too. Overdevelopment of a nation also sometimes stands in the way of advancement and empowering of youth if you know what I mean. Parental domination in our part of the world also inhibits the growth of the capabilities of youth today. Even elders need to be educated and informed that the greater part to be paid to the world is expected of the youth. Elders should be playing the role of facilitators and guides rather than teachers and forceful drivers. Children need to be geared to engineer their way through. I’m not by any means saying here that children and youth should not allowed to be what they are and have their fun engaging themselves in vain and unproductive activity rather the point I’m trying to make is that the youth have capacity to do much more on their own without being steered to. They are the ones that lead the path to a greater cause in the existence of mankind and they must by all means given the opportunity, freedom and facility to do it. All we need to do is to recognise their true potential and ignite the fire within them because if we do that their payment to the success of mankind will be unimaginable.

One rule for life!

Never do anything extra for anyone!

I keep telling myself

I keep telling myself...

"Come on, worse things happen!"

Forgive and live

The smartest people sometimes do the stupidest things

Super mum

It was may be a little over five years ago when I came home from school just like any other day. I never actually cried that night. It still remains as one of the most sorrowful nights of my life.

That night - I could not imagine what my morning would be like. I had never spent a night at home without grownups. I didn’t know if she was going to make it. My heart skipped a beat at the words on the phone call. I could barely follow the instruction given - I had to pack her some stuff, she was being admitted. She was bad –very bad. I lost the rest.

While doing what I was asked to, I was trying to imagine what it would be like without her. She was too young. It was a vision that had never crossed my mind before and I was plagued by it.

When I was sick or in a bad mood I would simply curl up in bed with a long face or pretend to be doing something. But she – no matter how healthy or ill she was she would wake up much before dawn, cook, make breakfast, clean up, send us to school and go to work. There were no servants. She did it all by herself. She never complained. I wasn’t much help either. I even fussed sometimes. She would come up with elaborate spreads of her delicious cooking for visitors from all over the world. What I loved best off her deserts was the creamy chocolate fudge. Often we had overnight visitors and when they ask us if he have enough room, mama would just say “as long as there’s room in our hearts there’ll always be room in our home”. Again – it was all her alone.

I never actually got around telling her how much I love her. As we grew up the habit of giving her a goodbye hug before leaving home, slowly died out just like the bedtime stories and nursery rhymes.

When mama came back home from the hospital I just knew one thing in my heart – she was truly irreplaceable and I would never in my life be able to do all that she did as good as she did it. I never realised how much I had until God knocked on my door.

Today is her birthday. Over weeks, I’ve been thinking of stuff to get her and stuff that I could do with her together. May be we’ll cook something or bake a cake. May be I should tell her how great I think she is. May be we’ll play scrabble or go for a walk. Whatever I do for her, for sure will not be enough to show her my love and gratitude. My mind has no capacity to think of what she’s worth of. I hope the Lord will take care of her just like she took care of us.

Acres of love and mountains of joy

Yeah that’s what she gave me

That’s all that I have

Wonderful advice

Some good spanking once in a while

Sweet childhood memories

And much more to come

To carry to my grave

Thank you so much mama

Just Everybody

Everybody knows something that you don’t

Everybody’s got some sort of vocabulary that he/she does not know how to spell/ pronounce or the meaning of.

Everybody is ashamed of at least one thing

Everybody has something to regret about

Everybody made some big mistake in their life

Everybody has to cry sometime in their lives

Everybody needs a friend

And if that doesn’t make you feel any better

You are not everybody