Tuesday, June 07, 2005

I Quit

I can’t take it anymore. The stress and everything has taken me over and I am possessed by things of which I have no knowledge of. After a long and totally unconvincing conversation with the man I decided I’m quitting my post grads. I still have time and right now I want to enjoy my life doing the things I “like” doing. I don’t want to be forced into this thing. When I can enjoy myself watching a movie or preparing for a class or reading or sleeping, I’ve got to sit around with boring text reading idiotic stuff. I hate it so much. I tried ahrd to take up the pressure courageously, but failed. I can’t help with chores around the house. I can’t join family and staff trips. All my weekends are screwed. I can’t live my bloody life which is getting sicker by the hour. I keep getting on people’s nerves including my own. No one understands what I’m going through except myself so I have decided to stop it once and for all. I get only one chance to live my life and I can’t sacrifice the best years of it, working for some ridiculous worldly matters that add no value to me. It’s all just for other people’s mere human satisfaction. Why did I ever join this bloody thing… why am I saving up my life? It’ll be time to die when I have saved enough to start living. May be I will regret this decision but seriously if you’re reading this blog you know nothing more than what I have told you. You are half the cause of all the pain and misery that I have to go through whether you like to admit that or not so please, please let me make my own decisions for myself?????

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

if there's one thing that can get you there, it's determination!

Tasha said...

Take me where? to what I want or to what others want of me?

Anonymous said...

k, now don't tell me i don't know what's good for me

E said...

Ok go ahead make ur own decisions but.... Dont quit! U started it cos u KNEW (at least the moment u made that decision) that u can do it. So why quit now? All that so called 'Miami Dream' life will always be there cos u have time, the suffering is for just another 1 year or so n ur sooo used to it.(APIIT)

Mr.Pitbull said...

Hi mam . I know what kind of pain or distress u r going through rite now. I had to face the smae thing and make my own decision on a situation like that. but i didn't give up hope mam and sticked to my decision without ny regrets. I know how u must have felt when quitting. But u have a life and u have to enjoy it to the fullest. Otherwise the train is gone rite??
i stick with u mam. If u need a person to talk i am there k . Don't worry abt the past !! Think abt the future .

peace !!!!!!

Mahisha said...

At the end of the day, one has to make decisions regarding one's life (should not let others make it for you)...I hope you haven't completely stopped the MBA, but would have been a tough decision. Hope i'd never have to wear those shoes.... take care...

Tasha said...

Thanks everyone for your valuable advice and kind words which mean a lot during moments of difficulties!
To me at the end of the day happiness is a journey and not a destination and in most cases I guess I allow it to over-power me leave alone influence my decisions. It’s not a “can do” question, it’s a question of how much I’m will to sacrifice and forego… how much pain against how much pleasure…
(and CJ, this is by no means an example for you!)

G said...

If you want to see ppl which hate what they do, come see my class!!!!!

I dunno what degree you are following, but I see ppl which work breaking their necks & keeping their heads up!!! HERE's MY SALUTE to them for all the determination.

What I don't understand is that, you being in their shoes (assuming) here in apiit, I believe you can do it.

Or probably you just need some time out!!!

You are the one who taught me to understand ppl & how our decisions affect on others. I bet your decision affects on others as well.

Tasha said...

Thanx for that dose of my own medicine ; ). Didn’t know my lectures had such an effect on u guys!
I still wish I was able to express to you what exactly I’m going through.
You are not really in a state of managing five major things in your life, simultaneously, are you? It really is hectic managing work with studies and added to that I have other responsibilities and as for the decision - yes it is final. Well, temporarily at least but I will for sure get the degree Insha Allah so I’m not really worried about missing out on some opportunity and regretting later. It’s just that right now there other more significant matters that I need to focus on. I hope to be back soon with my true self. This is not like me at all!

Sven said...

I wish you good luck!

Tasha said...

eh... I don't really believe in luck…!
yeah tough one; that I am!

D said...

Sure enough, I agree that sometimes you gotta think about living your life, than sacifice the best of it for I-don't-know-what-for kind of cause. And you HAVE made the decision and there's no changing that, eh ?

Hmmm... I'm also suffering almost the same symptoms. Perhaps, I should think of quitting the Pit, too....

Tasha said...

No, that's a bad idea cos u need that stepping stone AFAP!