So here I am, sipping my caffeine free soda on a Wednesday afternoon in the chilly north of the mid west of the states. Baby – asleep in the crib… elbow slowly recovering… business… taking bigger shape… dealing with some difficult clients… thinking about the cooking plans for dinner… missing the husband…. Going on…. living on…
Sometimes it feels like a blessing and at other times, like a curse.
The thunderous silence sweeps in like a sand storm when he leaves and I go about my everyday wifely duties… hanging by the moment… watching the clocks tick away… Every now and then remembering the mother island and the parents and brothers and wishing we were closer… wishing we had used our time together even more. Hmm… so there’s no gossip… no “when’s the 2nd one coming?”, No one to laugh at an odd choice of an outfit… and like those peace doves the snow keeps cleaning out your heart…
How I’d loved to be pampered with a hot cup of coffee from the mother’s soft hands… and roll in on the couch with my reader’s digest and fall asleep not having to worry about anything in the world. How I’d love to be carefree and melt in my own thoughts and imagination… and then I have to pinch myself to remind me that no human being beyond the age of five can be completely carefree. If we are, then we must be dead…. But I wouldn’t know cos I’m not still dead… oh wait a minute… Here’s something that no one will ever know! Hmm
So silently, I take a moment to post this and will then check my mail – I mean the ones that the post lady brings in and then it would be a walk through real life… some “Dr House” in the evening perhaps… may be tea with biscuits…. A couple of days to pass by…. until I’m in the mood to float again.
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