Surviving Sandy

Despite the cruel winds, crashing rain and howling storm I feel thankful.

Thankful that underneath it all we still have fresh water from the taps and gas to cook our food.

Everything that we take for granted everyday are precious gifts. The lessons we learn are many.

Although a flood of darkness overcomes us after sunset, I still feel grateful that we have a roof over our heads and that the car and the house survived the storm.

Last year, in August, Irene gave us training. We had to leave our newly purchased home the first day we moved into it. This year again there this is this deep lingering thought as to why an area that hardly gets affected by storms of this nature, is getting affected twice in two years in a row. My heart goes out to all my neighbors, our fellow survivors and the families of loved ones who lost their lives. Clearly God has mystical ways of displaying His infinite wisdom.

As the last bar on my cell phone and the last bit of battery charge left on my laptop scream out to me to stop I am forced to go back into a technology less world to face the many challenges that were just a part of life for my grandparents and great grandparents.

It is mind boggling to think of how much we depend on electricity to run our everyday lives. Whether it is too microwave a cup of tea or entertain the children with a video, electricity has definitely proved itself to be unimaginably important.

My children would probably not remember this phase and hence one day if they read this I would like them to know that yes Sandy happened to New Jersey in 2012 and we survived it. We feared for the safety of our loved ones and the safety  of our belongings but finally  we got through it without much loss or damage. A week without power, a week to connect, to pause, to think… to collect life and to go on…

So did Sandy do us any good?

the power failure was overwhelming, the depression was worse than I thought... What good can any of this bring - definitely a valid question.

In a weird kind of way, we connected with other people hit by the storm. The same basic needs brought us together. Everyone was trying to help someone with something they needed whether it be food, medication, information or just a pat on the back.

I just hear that a snow storm is making its way towards us. While mixed feelings and emotions run through my mind… I am grateful for the little blessing we have, the numerous friends who opened their hearts to us, the neighbors - some of whom we only met because of the storm.
Life will bring us its storms and test our limits. Hope will keep us going and prayer will get us there Insha Allah - God Willing!

Life is an amusement park when you're married to the clown!

I may have met you 12 years ago,
but you still continue to amuse me...

I told him to remember two things
only two things...
'put the boiler off...
throw the garbage out...'

yesterday he remembered the boiler...
when i came home the garbage was not thrown
today he remembered the garbage...
but the boiler was still on

So I'm laughing....!

A great leap forward!

I'm excited about my new job. All those emotions and feelings keep coming to you when you just want to sleep or think about nothing at all. It is not just a new routine but a whole lifestyle change for me. Parting from Haroon is the greatest difficulty. He is attached. Needs us in his visual atmosphere. This will be hard on him. The good thing is that I can have him in the same building and I can check on him whenever I am free. I hope and pray that this new journey goes on well for me. Getting back to school for my masters is the next thing I'm looking forward to. When the children are both in school, hopefully I will be too and then I can be with them when they are home. The kids should not be neglected. That is my main motive. Everything good in me is what Allah gave me so yes I feel this everyday, we should be spending every moment of our days on our knees just thanking him for the blessings, for having normal children, for not having deadly diseases, for not being in a car crash, cos you know what? It could have been me!

Adios until I write again!

Some days are good some days are...

I can't imagine how it has been almost an year since I last posted. The little time I get online is expended on mail, business research, forums and social networking for da'wah. Da'wah is invitation. And the Invitation, is to Islam. My facebook group which just started with a handful of my friends and family members, has over the years grown to a 516 member global network. Many of them, I have never met. Since keeping the group updated by myself was becoming a tedious task, I have delegated part of the administration to a young sister in Malaysia who is doing a wonderful job of it Masha Allah. Some day, my group that shares good words, charity projects and global Islamic issues will be a self managed organization. Insha Allah.

So here are the things that have been occupying my mind lately. The ethnic conflict in my country is just heartbreaking. We Sinhalese and Muslims have lived in peace for many years but recently there has been some uproar within these communities. I grew up with Hindu, Christian, Buddhist and Muslim friends.... we were like siblings. Our different religions and ethnicity never got in the way. It deeply disheartens me to see my fellow brothers and sisters in so much agony over an uncontrollable factor such as a race that you are born into. Shouldn't we humans be way ahead? Shouldn't this energy be going into far more productive causes? We should be colonizing the moon by now, not quarrelling over land.

On a more personal note, my mother's illness has made me realise just how much we take for granted in life. Do we really pause to thank God from the bottom of our hearts for the numerous 'have's or do we complain about the 'havenot's. Having watched an episode of Indian Hospital, and being moved to the point of tears... my only prayer is that life for these victims becomes easier.... the wisdom of which is known only to the Almighty. I miss my dad ever so much. His wise words and caring gestures ring in my heart. I wish I was closer to home to take care of them. I wish my children had more family and grandparents. Speaking of which, both the kids got sick. I was the final catch. The fever is terrible. You dont feel like eating or doing anything, yet you are a mother and have to.

The children are growing too fast too keep count. Life is a roller coaster ride. So when my patient husband takes the time to listen attentively to my vents and then compliment and cheer me, we remind each other that some days are good and some days are just better because there is more to be thankful for, than we can ever know or count!

Inna Ma al Usri Yusra!

Alhamdulillah!

At the end of the day most things are still left undone
I still procrastinate about my career
and dream about what I will do once the kids are in school
So many goals I did set for myself
But days have become years and and I'm still here

And If I don't get anything out of all this
and if i ever look back and feel
that all my dreams and ambitions went wasted because i had no time to fulfill them
at least I will be happy that I sacrificed my life
...for my children
that i was there for them...
a shoulder to lean on...
and outstretched arms for a hug
I read them stories and sang to them and danced with them and fed their meals
I was never to busy for hide and seek
or for a walk in the park
I enjoyed their laughter and cried inside every time i saw them cry...
and although I crave for some lone time or a break, deep down inside I know...
there is nothing I want to change.. My children are my life!

some good ones

the reputation of a thousand years may be determined by the conduct of a minute (or a hour if you are lucky)

anger is a thief who steals away nice moments!


reputation is what people think about you, charachter is what god and you know about you!

Celebrating US

As we grow old together

And as we celebrate half a decade of sharing each other's lives

let me remind you that, although I don't mention it often

hardly anything else brings me

as much joy as loving you does

And in my little way let me say thank you

to all those moments that you have never refused anything I wanted

for the deep and ever growing love I see in your eyes

for being a truly wonderful husband and great dad

for every special thing that you are!

I love you every day 

and every little thing you do for me means much than you would ever know...

Aashika

When smiles and cries are all you hear all day long!

Life with the kids has been crazy enough. Add moving and ramadan to it and multiply it with two flights of stairs that need to be climbed about 10 times a day. I am exhausted and that probably is an understatement. I am guilty of not spending enough time with J. She is a child who has been used to being the centre of attention and now all of a sudden the demands and challenges have increased and I find it hard to make time to read to her and just hang around, or play or walk.

Little Haroon gave me his beautiful smile a couple of times and it is one of the most beautiful things that can meet a mother's eyes. We are settling in and adjusting to a new life. Grandparents are a great hep and a source of strength when you seem to feel lost or lonely. Come this fall and they will be gone but let me cross that bridge when I get there. Miss Amber and her kids... I am glad we still can see each other unlike Lilly who is 1000 or more miles away in Arizona. My adventures continue and I will keep posting in my many blogs as and when my chores take a rear seat.

Until then keep spreading the love!

I love Summer

Yet another April has made its way through my life. The sun is out again and its beautiful outside. The wilderness, whether the grass is mowed or not whether the branches are trimmed or not, is raw and elegant. During winter every day seems like an incredible challenge to get through. During spring and summer I am the happiest. I am spring cleaning and cooking up nice dishes and running all over the house trying to play catches with the toddler. We love the outdoors and wait for the weekends to picnic in the park or to try out new restaurants and desi or chinese foods. Traveling is always more fun when the weather cooperates.


I have been terribly busy lately. The magazine WISELET as it is called, is slowly taking shape thanks to a wonderful group of writers and to my husband who is a great source of strength. Insha Allah I hope it will be out by the end of May the latest. June will be a month of relaxing for me because the baby is due in July and after that I don't think I will have much time to rest being a mother of two. The education search site, which we have been working on for more than an year is just in time to meet the O/L students in Sri Lanka who are to get their results anytime next week. We are excited by the progress it is making. Please do register and help us promote it. Its the first of its kind and Free!


When the night sky comes, its time for supper and sleep. Some recitation of the Quran, a movie or a book will complete my day. Jannah needs us in bed by 8:30pm or she wont sleep alone. In many ways its good cos you wake up feeling like you had a complete night's sleep. And then it is just lovely to wake up to the sound of the birds singing and the golden light of dawn. Thank God for the beautiful days in our lives!

Who said there were only 7 wonders when they are indeed uncountable?

The curved roads cut through the mountains reminded me of good old mother Lanka. How much we take for granted. How much we want to leave her when we are there and how much we want to go back when are away. Yes the human is never satisfied. If we had four pairs of eyes we will still want the fifth one. Maslow was right except that the hill does not have a peak. How much we as humans yearn to be close to nature, the peaceful sound of water and the majestic swans... the copper mines on the mighty hills, the quacking of ducks and the break of dawn... the beauty of the pine trees turning golden brown! As beautiful as it may be, these are the little wonders of the world that give tranquility to your heart; the best things are indeed, free!

So pause to smell the roses... and make those pictures in your mind that will keep you company in your old age and when you are alone...!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sM9vcAIYyc&feature=related5

Is April already here?

The long winter months have slowly come to an end and the sun is shinier. It is liberation to be driving again and I find myself more confident than before. I didn’t do it during winter more than a few times. The broken arm and the slippery roads were enough reasons not to.

My princess has become even more amazingly cute. It gets better everyday. Updates about her you will find here. She still wakes up in the night though and I could use more sleep anytime I can get some.

The writing has ceased and the gaming has increased. The cooking has definetly improved a LOT. Dont forget to checkout my blog: www.cookcool.blogspot.com 

Life goes on with a twist of salt and pepper every now and then. The winter makes us want to relocate so we are working on that one hopefully to a warmer state. 

Everyday I see on news:  abductions, murder, rape and theft. It makes my heart break and I shed tears of fear. I'm praying everyday for things be to be calm. Hoping that bad things dont happen to anyone! No child whatever nationality should lose another father to war. No mother should have to go through the pain of being alone! Every human being is a brother or a sister and I love them all equally!

Just the thoughts… so random

So here I am, sipping my caffeine free soda on a Wednesday afternoon in the chilly north of the mid west of the states. Baby – asleep in the crib… elbow slowly recovering… business… taking bigger shape… dealing with some difficult clients… thinking about the cooking plans for dinner… missing the husband…. Going on…. living on…

Sometimes it feels like a blessing and at other times, like a curse.

The thunderous silence sweeps in like a sand storm when he leaves and I go about my everyday wifely duties… hanging by the moment… watching the clocks tick away… Every now and then remembering the mother island and the parents and brothers and wishing we were closer… wishing we had used our time together even more. Hmm… so there’s no gossip… no “when’s the 2^nd one coming?”, No one to laugh at an odd choice of an outfit… and like those peace doves the snow keeps cleaning out your heart…

How I’d loved to be pampered with a hot cup of coffee from the mother’s soft hands… and roll in on the couch with my reader’s digest and fall asleep not having to worry about anything in the world. How I’d love to be carefree and melt in my own thoughts and imagination… and then I have to pinch myself to remind me that no human being beyond the age of five can be completely carefree. If we are, then we must be dead…. But I wouldn’t know cos I’m not still dead… oh wait a minute… Here’s something that no one will ever know! Hmm

So silently, I take a moment to post this and will then check my mail – I mean the ones that the post lady brings in and then it would be a walk through real life… some “Dr House” in the evening perhaps… may be tea with biscuits…. A couple of days to pass by…. until I’m in the mood to float again.

In a sling and in pain but still trying to smile it away!

So I though instead of complaining about the cold weather and hills of snow, I’ll go out and have some fun in it. So I went Ice skating the other day. Had a fall... Landed on my wrist and cracked my elbow. It was painful to the full sense of that word. 

Now I’m in a sling unable to do most thing with just my left hand. Yeah I should have been more responsible, I’m a mum. I should have been careful but strangely I don’t regret it. Accidents are not intentional. And may be I made a mistake taking the risk but I feel happy to have escaped something major.

Little things that I took for granted seem very hard now. Fastning a button, combing my hair and most of al being able to hug and hold Jannah...

Begin

Begin today and the days ahead of you in the New Year, to live with only the limitations given by Allah.

 

Know that there is a way to get beyond anything that might seem to be holding you back.

Convert any feelings of regret for what you haven't done and turn them into passion for what you are now able to do, with the grace of Almighty Allah

 

This moment is yours and only you can make the best of it!

 

Stop repeating to yourself the reasons why you can't. Begin reminding yourself, again and again, of all the powerful, meaningful reasonswhy you MUST!!!

 

Life is full of uncertainty, injustice and unfairness... Yet in each and every turn of events there is opportunity

 

 for achievement, for fulfillment, and for genuine greatness.

 

So, begin this new year with acceptance of every rich detail of life as it comes, and to transform those details into outstanding success, Insha Allah!

 

 Wishes for a very successful and peaceful 2009!

A wilted rose is but beautiful only to the one that it brought memories to!

Reflections of the land of red, white and blue!

Skyscrapers, speedy cars, rockets, doughnuts everywhere! That’s what we were thinking when my husband announced that we will be sent for an assignment to Milwaukee Wisconsin far far away. I was both happy and sad at the same time. Sri Lanka is a beautiful little island which gave us a home full of bliss. Would I ever be able to leave it, I wondered.

I remember shopping for warm clothes in the tropical paradise pearl as our island is decoratively known. The night that we left I remember looking at all my belongings in the closet and wishing we were allowed more than 50 pounds each. I remember how sad my dad and mum looked when they kissed us good bye at the airport. There will be no more “king coconuts” and “string hoppers”. We were thoughtfully quiet throughout the nearly 24 hour journey full of stops and transits. As our minds wondered back memory lane our hearts ached with worries about what awaited us.

Our motherland is by no means going through the best of her times. War bound and wounded, she strives to give us plenty from her soils and seas. There were days when my husband kissed me good bye before work and I wondered whether I would ever see him again that day. Life was not a bed of roses, nor a fairytale. Nevertheless, our lives were filled with family occasions, dinner at every good restaurant in town, holidays in the salubrious hills and heaps of fun and laughter.

We arrived here, when fall was bidding good bye. I soon realized USA was very different from what we had anticipated. We blended almost immediately into the American lifestyle. Yes, we did miss the folks back home and the wonderful Sri Lankan cuisine but then you understand that life has another agenda - a better life for your children.

Our daughter entered the world on a cold winter night. It was the happiest moment of our lives. Everyday that followed was like a new star in the sky. She brought laughter and peace into our home and hearts – being everything we can ask for and more. She is the wonder of our lives. In fact Jannah is our life now!

To me it was truly a new beginning. I thought, being Muslim in America will be difficult and the Hijab (or head scarf) would make people fathom me differently. I was wrong. There were some difficult moments like when I got my instruction permit which was a rollercoaster ride. The H4 dependent visa was unfamiliar to many, so I had plenty of ‘proving’ to do. A driving school that I registered for left me hanging because I had no SSN but my family never let me give up. I did prove that I was a legal temporary resident of this country and deserve the privilege of driving an automobile. When I finally got my permit, it was much more than a sense of elated liberation. It was victory.

It was an inspiring difference to have people greet you with a warm smile everywhere you went. At the grocery stores people were not reluctant to admire our baby and shower us with compliments. It made us forget that we were from the other side of the world. It was as though we had been here forever. Watching the children play together at the park and library not regarding hue or color was heartwarming. Sometimes we felt lonely. Sometimes gloom filled the air. Nevertheless, everyday grew a little better because we knew the warmth of the people could melt away the crystal snow. Their smiles erased our tears. Their closeness chased away our deepest fears.

Living on our own was a challenge – a notable change from the support of extended families back home. Living in a strange land without family and not many friends was harder. You wake up and look outside your window with mixed feelings. It really isn’t your home but it is too. The dark moments of reality add heaviness to the heart. Just as teardrops form, there walks by a person, cheerfully greeting you with a beautiful smile. An American at his best in spreading happiness.

Thank you, America for making my day!

We will see and learn many things during our stay in this land of freedom and opportunity. We will also give back, from the Asian culture and traditions together making a better world.

Published in the Jan 2009 issue of Wisconsin Woman Magazine

Anniversary Wishes

TO A LOVING SISTER AND BROTHER-IN-LAW ON YOUR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY

Three years of glory,
In your life’s journey,
Going forth together as one in unity,
We wishing you both a happy anniversary,

May the love you both share; grow,
With each passing tomorrow,
May you be together for another five scores and more,
And may your love never get sore,

Up and downs in life is galore,
But sharing and caring is its foe,
Make you lives a dream of love,
And Allah will accept your every bow,

Tales are made of lives filled with love,
Songs are sung when pains are few,
Faults are found when love is in the bin,
Greatness comes when humbleness is king,

To sis and bil as great as gold,
You are to us the hands to hold,
Wishing you always – each day many fold,
On this day – greater than all the gold,



By your two loving Brothers

to the newly weds

Let your love be stronger than your hate or anger

Learn the wisdom of compromise for it is better to bend a little than to break

Believe the best rather than the worst

People have a way of living up or down to your opinion of them

Remember that true friendship is the basis of any lasting relationship. The person you choose to marry is deserving of the courtesies and kindnesses you bestow on your friends.

Please hand this over to your children and your children’s children. The more things change the more they are the same.

A year New today and soon to be old forever!

People are so busy today that they send greetings; one - e card to all the friends and relatives. Far too busy to post a handwritten card… leave a lone that… far too busy to send customize messages through email.

I spent new years eve

Here alone on my bed

There’s nothing much I can do. There’s nothing much to a new year except a few numbers changing on your calendar… another reason to celebrate. I never wish anyone a happy new year. I sent some messages to the colleagues back at work because they do celebrate it. Our new year in the Arabic calendar mostly goes unnoticed and that’s how its mean to be. In Islam we celebrate three things only – the two festivals and weddings. Theres no harm in celebrating other things. There’s no need to.

Today is first of Muharram - the Islamic 11 month lunar calendar. May it bring peace and joy to the hearts of all mankind!

Lanka will always be my home!

Half my heart is back home

I miss the sunshine on my face

I miss the walks down the sea shore

I miss the friends at work

I miss the relatives and calls and all the fuss

Living here in to lap of luxury

Too cold to go outside

Snow everywhere

Beautiful to see

But miserable to be in

No friends… no family…

No sunshine… no sea

You hardly see a pedestrian

A building or a mountain

My dear country… War bound

I had to leave

To pursue, a future.. better for my family

Lanka - without you

I miss sun drying my clothes

I miss the rush hour hour

I miss the string hoppers and kiri hodhi

I miss the hoppers and pol sambol

I miss everything back home

And I don’t know when I will see her again

I miss my comfy bed

And my little home!

I hope Jannah will be lucky enough to enjoy her childhood as much as we did. We had neighbour kids to run around and play with. We didn’t electronic robot dolls and remote controlled cars to amuse us. Yet we had so much and more! We had outdoor sports and loads of fun… we had time to sit under the jam tree and play sellam gedara. We had time for cricket and kom pittu. We made kites and flew them We rode bikes and bruised ourselves. When parents used the cane we did not have authorities to complain! We felt the sand and grass under our feet and the rain and wind on our faces…

Jannah I want you to not to miss one bit of it!!!